Merry Christmas and belated new year wishes to you all. Hopefully you all had a chance to spend the holidays with those you love. We didn't travel to Florida on Christmas like we did last year, and I wish we would have. It was hard for us to put on a happy face and act like everything was just fine, especially when it seemed like most people moved on and celebrated Christmas just like nothing was different; when to us, Sophie's absence at the celebrations was the elephant in the room.
For many people, Christmas is a time for giving and receiving gifts. And it used to be like that for me. But since Sophie has died, the idea of asking for gifts has become so trivial. I wanted to scream when people asked me what I wanted for Christmas, because the truth of the matter is, that what I wanted for Christmas could never be bought at a store, or wrapped in paper and bows. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy buying presents for others, and the anticipation of Christmas, but the commercialization of Christmas really bothered me this year. I tried to stay focused on the reason we celebrate Christmas, and why we exchange gifts instead of asking for "stuff", and that helped me put everything into perspective.
I would like to thank those of you who so generously made donations to our foundation or to St. Jude. Those truly are the gifts that mean the most to me.
Somehow I keep thinking that the days will be easier, but they just aren't. Like last year, the beginning of a new year stirs up many feelings. A fresh start is always appealing, yet with each new day and new year, the days when Sophie was here get further and further away. It's strange to think that it wasn't "last year" anymore that Sophie died. I was reading a blog that mentioned the kids that died in 2008. I was surprised that Sophie's name wasn't on the list, and then it occurred to me that she would have been on the 2007 list. I honestly can't believe it's been so long. There has not been one day, probably not one hour, nor even one minute that I haven't thought of Sophie during the last 15 months.
Over the week end, our little Sarah made the transition into a big girl bed, and for her that meant moving into Sophie's room. It was bittersweet because we liked having a room in the house that was still Sophie's (although the rainbow guest room will always be hers) but at the same time, it was a transition for us that we felt ready for. We know that Sophie would want Sarah to have her room, and Sarah is proud to have it. Sarah has really been taking me by surprise lately as she tends often to mention Sophie out of the blue. At times, I am not sure how much her little two and a half year old mind comprehends because she frequently tells me she wants Sophie to come here now. While I was putting the bed rails on the bed in her new room (Sophie's room), Sarah was reading books to her dolls and then all of a sudden she got quiet. When I looked at her, she was staring off into space. I said "Sarah, what are you doing?" She just smiled at me and said "Sophie". I asked her "What about Sophie?" and she didn't say anything else, but went back to reading to her dolls. I wondered if she felt Sophie's presence.
We were watching videos over the holiday and one of them had Sophie in it dancing with a large Dora doll/pillow. She was about Sarah's age, and Sarah was convinced it was her in the video. She became obsessed with the whereabouts of that Dora doll. She kept asking where it was, and saying she wanted it. Now I found that strange because she inherited more Dora toys/dolls than you could imagine from Sophie, and the one doll that seems to have disappeared was the one that she wanted. She even started crying, and was really upset that we didn't have that doll anymore. She said, "Let's go to heaven and get it." It took us a while to calm her down. I had forgotten about the episode, and a couple days later Sarah said to me, "Sophie is in heaven with a really big door." I asked her "How do you know the door is big?" and she told me, "Because she had to get that big Dora doll in with her."
We sold all of the ornaments that we had purchased! Thanks to all of you who supported us again in our fundraising endeavor. Next year, we will be doing this again and hopefully we will have the information out right before Thanksgiving.
Our foundation has mailed one check to a family fighting DIPG, so your dollars are being put to good use. We have received several more requests for the financial assistance application, and hope to award more money soon.
We are in the early stages of planing a brunch to be held on Sunday May 10th in honor of Mother's Day and Brain Tumor Awareness Month. If you are looking for a way to celebrate with Mom, why not support our cause as you dine with family and/or friends. More details will be coming soon. Please save the date.
Even though it is only January, and freezing here in Ohio, we are thinking about the 2nd Annual 5K on July 4, 2009. Yes, we will be holding this event once again this year, so please save the date. More information will be coming soon.
I would like to take this opportunity to ask for your support in helping another Cleveland child diagnosed with DIPG. His name is Derric Williams and his website is http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/alotofloveforderric . A fundraising dinner catered by Bubba's BBQ is being held on Saturday February 7th to offset medical costs and transportation. To see the flyer and for more details, please go back to the www.smilesforsophieforever.org homepage and click on "Smiles For the Season". Thank you in advance for your support.
There is another local event coming up put on by the Prayers From Maria Foundation on February 21st. It is the 2nd Annual Sunflower Soiree and it will be held at the Corner Alley in downtown Cleveland. We went last year and had a great time. For more information and to buy tickets, please visit www.prayersfrommaria.org
Finally, I would like to share with you the opportunity to participate in an event being held March 29th near Pittsburgh, PA by our friends Tamara and Brian Ekis of Reflections of Grace. This is a foundation that they started in honor of their daughter Grace who lost her battle with DIPG last Valentine's Day. Marc and I are running this race in honor of Smiles for Sophie, and have started a fundraising page. You can donate to our page by clicking on the following link. http://www.active.com/donate/RaceForGrace2009/EQuayle All donations will go towards to the 2nd Annual Race for Grace. We will be truly grateful for any amount you can give. If you'd like to join us, and register for this race, or donate to the cause, or read Grace's story, please visit www.reflectionsofgrace.org. We thank you in advance for your support.
We hope 2009 is a year filled with many blessings for you and your families. Please remember to pray for those children diagnosed with brain tumors. I've heard of at least 4 families with children diagnosed with DIPG just in December of 2008, and I'm sure there are more. For a list of children affected by brain cancer, please visit www.icouldbeyourchild.org.
Merry Christmas Sophie! We love you.
